Faith is a choice, not a feeling. It means choosing to trust God even when things don't make sense to you.
I now fully understand the phrase I grew up hearing in church: "Walking by faith"
I had it all. Whatever I thought "all" was. A marriage, children, a beautiful home, financial security, a job I loved and felt fulfilled in. I had a circle of friends, my kids went to private school, I taught Sunday School and was active in my church - women's ministries and more... life was good.
and then, as if overnight, it was gone...
There are events in my life that I've just accepted—difficult things, unfair things, tragic things for which I have no explanation.
I'm walking by faith.
I'm reading Habakkuk 1. I know the context is about the Babylonian invasion but I can't help but I feel much like he did in this passage of scripture:
"How long, Lord, must I call for help,
but you do not listen?
Or cry out to you, “Violence!”
but you do not save?
Why do you make me look at injustice?
Why do you tolerate wrongdoing?
Destruction and violence are before me;
there is strife, and conflict abounds."
But, I read his answer to Habakuk and his promises and I have to remain hopeful:
“Look at the nations and watch—
and be utterly amazed.
For I am going to do something in your days
that you would not believe,
even if you were told."
Throughout the past few years, I have wrestled with trying to make sense of everything that has happened. I still wrestle daily with this. I am learning that it may never all make sense to me.
I'm walking by faith.
Spouses will let you down
Friends will let you down
Church leaders will let you down
It may even feel like God has let you down.
"No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he'll never let you be pushed past your limit; he'll always be there to help you come through it." Corinthians 10:13
I'm walking by faith.
Heidi Murphy - 2017
