First things first:If you are reading this and you are a mommy of children between the ages of 0-18, i hope this will help you. I think this may be the perfect blog entry to come back into blog world with. I don't ever seem to have enough time in a day. Blogging is way low on my list - my excuse for being away so long. Things always get in the way of my blogging. You see, trying to be perfect is hard work. So if you followed my blog before and thought I was gone for good, guess what? I'm still here : )
Getting Naked:Yep, I just typed that. It's not what you are thinking though. I heard it from my pastor's wife at a recent retreat. I'm referring to becoming open and letting you see my heart.
Three things I know:
1. I'm want to be perfect
2. I'm not perfect
3. I'll never be perfect
This perfection I speak of is NOT a body image thing. I know I'll never be perfect in that department and I'm good with that. I'm talking about the way I mother, my relationships, on my job, how people people view me, my attitude, my walk with God.......the list goes on.
I've recently started journaling. It started off as a suggestion from a Christian counselor. Let me just say that it wasn't at the top of my "to do:" list. However, it has become much more than a daily outlet or assignment from a counsellor. Journalling has given me a tool to write my feelings without fear of being judged, talk to God, keep track of my moods, embrace and appreciate myself, have self care or me time, set reasonable goals for myself, look back and see how far I've come and much more. I have just started my second book. That's big stuff for me. I started out with this stinky thinking: "I hate my writting, my words are weird, I don't do it right, my thoughts or feelings look foolish, this is a waste of time......Why would I want to write words down and risk feeling foolish when reading it back later? Or even worse - someone finding it and reading it.
WAIT!!!! (Sorry I didn't title this post: 'All about Journalling!) - okay, there.
I've gone from the (first few pages) journal entries: "stupid, stupid, stupid......" to an entire book (three months of days) filled up with full pages of my deepest thoughts.