This post is a few weeks late. I just had to share it since it means so much to our family.
Each year the Frazer singles ministers to a very special group of people. We meet them at the Montgomery Zoo. They are the mentally and physically challenged children and adults of our city. A special day is set aside each year around this time to serve them and to just have fun with them. We gather early in the morning in anticipation of their arrival. Some of us come dressed as clowns (myself), some usher around a "special" friend, some serve in other areas such as serving food, handing out goodies and bags or taking pictures. There are many ways to volunteer. This was the ninth year for me and about the eleventh year or greater for Buddy. Zoo Day has become even more special to us each year because our children are now involved. They have come to love these "special" people and have very kind and sensitive hearts for them.
The reason Zoo Day is special to us:
My second Zoo Day was back in 2002. The day before Zoo Day I had learned that the baby inside of me had passed away. This was our third pregnancy and our third loss. I remember wanting to stay home. I was in no mood to go to the zoo dressed as a clown. To put on a happy face for the children when inside I was dying. However, as I laid in the bed feeling sorry for myself, I felt a special pulling in my heart to go in spite of the deep pain of loss I was feeling.
I put on my clown suit. I can remember so clearly being aware that my baby was still inside of me and I was to go have the procedure to terminate the lost pregnancy on the following Monday.
As I "played clown" for all of those "special" children a feeling of guilt kept growing inside of me. I suddenly realized that I had been praying and asking God for a "perfect" child. As Buddy and I got in the car to leave we both dissolved into tears in each other's arms. He had been feeling the same way. We prayed right there in the parking lot of the zoo for God to forgive us. We asked him that if he choose to bless us again with a pregnancy, we would take whatever he gave us. Yes, even a "special" child.
The rest of the story:
The little baby inside of me that day is my sweet 6 year old Sean Flynn. The same baby we were told had no heartbeat, an odd gestational sac, and other problems. We decided to follow the advice of a Fertility specialist in Birmingham and cancel the termination procedure at our local hospital. We drove to Birmingham expecting her to tell us the same news and do the procedure to terminate there. However, to our complete surprise, there was a heartbeat that day which shocked even the Doctors. No one can explain to us what happened. God is a miracle working God and he heard our prayers. I am sure some would say Medical Science could explain it all quite easily. I choose to believe that God brought my baby back to life.
The next year, Zoo Day had the youngest clown ever - 4 month old baby Sean came with his clown mommy dressed as a clown. This year, my precious Lily was a clown for the first time with me. Sean has now graduated to walking around the zoo with some very "special" friends.